hmm..

it's liberating to know that nobody really reads this blog.

it removes all expectations, allowing me to think aloud for a second and meditate in the quiet space of an electronic page.

i want to show you this picture i took with an old lens on a new camera. (click to enlarge)
these new nikon lenses i've been collecting are the coolest toys i've owned in years. they feel incredible when you manually focus. unlike cell phones and quick cameras that auto focus and choose your settings, with old SLRs, its you who are composing the entire image.

if you have the time, take a second to think about that.

why is it the picture that comes out slightly blurry the one that makes us feel something?

why do we enjoy the looks on our faces in candid shots, rather than the plastic "say cheese" smiles of the usual photographs.

its because that's how we experience the world. as slightly off balance, as something imperfect. and thus, real. complete. unique because it's a thing of its own.

think Henri Matisse. aren't lots of his paintings sloppily drawn people with distorted limbs and weak proportion? or are they timeless works of art that hold that intangible thing that we call life.

anyway..I'm beginning to see this tiny slice of internet as a big ass, empty room that nobody I ever know will ever enter, because they're too busy.

because no one is here, I can be myself. when I am myself, i am more happy. and when i'm happy i find i have lots of real things to say.

(but, to whom?)